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I haven't written in a while
I guess I haven't had much to say. It's been a pretty boring and unproductive summer, really. I can't believe that there's only a month left until the fall semester starts up again.
Right now I mostly felt compelled to write here because it is my birthday tomorrow and I am feeling down about it (as usual). I hate getting older. All it does is remind me that the best times are probably even further behind me now because I am clearly unable (or unwilling?) to actually make anything of myself anymore. All I do on birthdays is mope about how awful I am and I guess that is not exactly a very fun way to spend the day!!
I've been trying to decide whether or not I want to go out tomorrow. I kind of don't want to, but I also know that I'd really regret it later if I just stayed home to mope. I really should go out - I just fear that it won't be any fun since there really is no comfortable way that I can ask my friend to leave her horrendous boyfriend at home and he'll just ruin the whole night like he did with another one of our friends a few months back. I already hate birthdays enough and have a hard enough time allowing myself to sit back and have fun, but having him around being pretentious and obnoxious won't make matters any better. There's just really no way that I can request that he stay home, though. That'd just make things even more awkward. I'll try not to let his presence ruin it, but it's hard! Eh, I haven't heard from any friends in days, though, so maybe sitting at home and moping will be my only option.
I hate sounding like such a totally negative person. It's annoying, I can fully see that. If I read someone else's journal with this crap written in it, I'd roll my eyes and think that they sounded like a completely miserable person. Maybe I am.
On a more positive note, lately I have been making a concerted effort to get more exercise. I started riding my bike every day about a week ago and it's been feeling pretty good. It makes me feel kind of encouraged and accomplished.
Right now I mostly felt compelled to write here because it is my birthday tomorrow and I am feeling down about it (as usual). I hate getting older. All it does is remind me that the best times are probably even further behind me now because I am clearly unable (or unwilling?) to actually make anything of myself anymore. All I do on birthdays is mope about how awful I am and I guess that is not exactly a very fun way to spend the day!!
I've been trying to decide whether or not I want to go out tomorrow. I kind of don't want to, but I also know that I'd really regret it later if I just stayed home to mope. I really should go out - I just fear that it won't be any fun since there really is no comfortable way that I can ask my friend to leave her horrendous boyfriend at home and he'll just ruin the whole night like he did with another one of our friends a few months back. I already hate birthdays enough and have a hard enough time allowing myself to sit back and have fun, but having him around being pretentious and obnoxious won't make matters any better. There's just really no way that I can request that he stay home, though. That'd just make things even more awkward. I'll try not to let his presence ruin it, but it's hard! Eh, I haven't heard from any friends in days, though, so maybe sitting at home and moping will be my only option.
I hate sounding like such a totally negative person. It's annoying, I can fully see that. If I read someone else's journal with this crap written in it, I'd roll my eyes and think that they sounded like a completely miserable person. Maybe I am.
On a more positive note, lately I have been making a concerted effort to get more exercise. I started riding my bike every day about a week ago and it's been feeling pretty good. It makes me feel kind of encouraged and accomplished.